The 2001 Alderson Basketball Awards
by Jim Alderson, 3/15/01

Circumstances dictated that this year I would not be attending a conference basketball tournament for the first time in some time. I had given thought to gracing the Big East Tournament with my presence but decided that the New York experience would be enhanced if I were to wait until such a time as Tech was actually participating in the thing.

I took the disappointment of not watching basketball in person like a man, not brooding and sulking but instead pitching camp in my recliner in my television den and doing virtually nothing for five days but watching various ones on television (one of my exes would claim I did indeed take it like a man). I prefer conference tournaments to what I perceive as the mostly dreary nature of the first round of the NCAA tourney, where we are generally treated to spectacles of large basketball fish swallowing smaller ones.

There was a veritable orgy of basketball on display, as my cable system at times had five channels carrying various tournaments. It was gratifying to observe the coaching career of Denny Crum end on a low note.

Even during this celebration of basketball, there were times, such as the occasional rout, a few minutes here and there when games were not on, and when I found myself hurrying to the nearest convenience market to lay in fresh supplies (note to self: two cases of beer for five days of televised basketball are not enough), that my mind began wandering. For that reason, and because I really was bereft of ideas for a TSL column while watching basketball in which Tech was not participating, I present the:

The 2001 Alderson Basketball Awards

The ‘What was it I forgot, oh, the point guard’ award - Ricky Stokes

The ‘Miami Well we were almost back’ award - Georgetown

The ‘What the heck, let’s lose at basketball too’ award - Rutgers

The ‘Coach K never told me about this' award - Tommy Amaker

The ‘Yes I did it’s why I recruited you after 1983’ award - Coach K

The ‘We’re back too' award - Perry Clark

The ‘If we wanted to go to the NIT we wouldn’t have lost at Tech' award - St. John’s

The ‘I hate Blacksburg' award - Mike Jarvis

The Alcoholics Anonymous ‘Let’s see if we can go three days in Atlanta without Booze’ award - Duke

The ‘Well, maybe A-10 championships aren’t so bad after all’ award - Temple

The ‘Winning isn’t everything' award – Herb Sendek

The ‘Whining isn’t everything…..Not!’ award - Jason Capel

The ‘If you were real teammates you would be pitching in to help my lottery standing by getting me the ball’ award -tie- Joseph Forte, Eddie Griffin

The ‘I hog the ball? Those are fighting words’ award - tie- Joseph Forte, Eddie Griffin

The ‘We play basketball?’ award - Virginia Tech student body

The ‘Shannon may be cuter but can she get two teams in two years to quit on her’ award - Matt ‘Coach Duh’ Doherty

The ‘No I didn’t screw Tech in the BCS and as proof check the NIT’ award - Mike Tranghese

The ‘I guess this means the coach is leaving’ award - Providence

The ‘Boy, was I an idiot for turning Dean down’ award - Eddie Fogler

The ‘We decided to lose in double digits to get our fans ready for football’ award - Jim Calhoun

The ‘Team least likely to run away from home’ award - Virginia

The ‘Earliest fans to get out the door when they play Duke’ award - North Carolina

The ‘Now they care about basketball’ award - Larry Shyatt

The ‘This is why we didn’t want Tech in the Big East’ award - St. John’s

The ‘Let’s televise a conference tournament and plug the dickens out of our restaurant’ award – ESPN

The ‘How About we put a turtleneck on Touchdown Jesus’ award - Mike Brey

The ‘Just because I have a huge budget doesn’t mean I can coach’ award - Brian Ellerbe

The ‘I only hung around fifteen years too long’ award - Denny Crum

The ‘Pitino is my man and if he doesn’t come I will sure look Baddour-ish’ award –Louisville AD Tom Jurich

The ‘We sure wish Tech were in CUSA now so we would have somebody to beat’ award - Louisville

The ‘I still say we are a basketball conference despite all Tech and Miami evidence to the contrary’ award - Mike Tranghese

The ‘I hog the ball because my teammates stink’ award - Omar Cook

The ‘So what if the picture quality is better on ESPN- we paid big bucks for this’ award - WDBJ-7

The ‘Well it’s only basketball’ award - Virginia Tech. Runner-up- Clemson. Second runner-up Florida State

The ‘Freshman eligibility is a mistake’ award - Ricky Stokes

The ‘When the going gets tough I’ll sit on the bench with a towel over my head’ award - Ronald Curry

The ‘You know things are bad when they’re still talking about me’ award - Dell Curry. Runner-up- Sam Cassel

The ‘You basketball-only schools think you’re so hot, just wait until I get you on my OOC’ award - Frank Beamer

The ‘Will coach for food, Dean’s record and the chance to smack a few people around’ award - Bobby Knight

The ‘Somebody’s ticket prices are going through the roof’ award - Rick Pitino

The ‘That Survivor message board nonsense looks pretty foolish now that we lost in the first round of the NIT to a football school’ award - Seton Hall

The ‘I guess basketball is our sport for a while’ award - Alabama

The ‘Yeah, I really do talk like that on the bench’ award –Coach K

The ‘We may be number 65 but at least we were in the dance. How did your team do?’ award - Winthrop, alma mater of the wife of a friend

The ‘Most definitely not fair weather fans’ award - Posters on the TSL basketball message board

Jim Alderson, who first made his mark with his biting political commentary on the A-Line email newsletter, also brings a unique, sarcastic, and well-informed perspective on college sports, particularly (1) Virginia Tech sports and (2) ACC sports.  While Hokie fans currently have very little use for subject number 2, Alderson is an entertaining and informative columnist on subject number 1.  For even more fun, visit Jim's A-Line home page.


TSL Columnists Archives

TSL Home