Haiku Meets the Gridiron
by Bill Glose, 9/5/01

This past weekend was peculiar for me, to say the least. I had two things written on my calendar for Saturday. The first was penciled in my daily planner right after the Hokies' 2001 schedule was announced – Hokies' Opening Game. Two months ago, as I was revving up for the season, I circled the entry several times in blue ink. And a few weeks ago, I highlighted the entry. It was all I could do to make the day seem a little closer.

Then – as often happens – another function appeared on my schedule with just a few days left until kickoff. My presence was requested at a poetry reading. The reading didn’t start until 4 PM, so I figured it wouldn’t interfere with my Hokie plans. "Sure," I said, "count me in."

Though I’m not the most poetic fellow, listening to verse right after hearing the roar of the Hokie crowd inspired me to write a few poems myself. So, with apologies to poets, and those who appreciate good Haiku (definition: an unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines containing usually 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively), the following is my poetic take on the Big East teams and our OOC opponents after the first full weekend of football.

If any opposing fans are slighted by these – sorry. These are meant solely in jest (except for that one team – and you know who you are). So, without further ado, here they are:

Mastermind in charge.
Instead of going for two,
sacrifices queen

Continuous shifting
confuses only themselves.
Orange pulp residue.

After brief success,
new coach follows Shea’s footsteps.
Dusts off resume.

Brave new Huskie world
seems bright ‘til second quarter.
The Rock wears them down.

JoePa scratches head
and says, "What did I expect?
They are back Bay-Bee!"

Only one game played.
Brand new fast-break didn’t help.
Bowl hopes down the drain.

Eviction notice
makes them want to diss Big East –
maybe go bowling?

MAC does well so far
so Broncos smoke wacky weed
and dream of upset.

Critics jeer lightweight schedule,
but Hokies laugh last
in Pasadena.

Nation’s best wideout
hurts ankle, but team still wins.
Pitt now tops in state.

Close call with Tigers,
future beating at Lane – at
least they have Disney

If thrashing the ‘Eers
is followed by plucking birds,
bowl hopes are solid.

BILL GLOSE is a Virginia Tech graduate and a former paratrooper with the 82d Airborne Division. He is currently a full-time technical writer and editor of the magazine Virginia Adversaria.


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