Now that we’ve supposedly become a national "player" in the college football scene, whatever that means, I’ve had to adopt an entirely new set of morals and beliefs, and they’re still giving me problems. I’m having problems pulling for our enemies because some BCS math equation tells me they all need to be undefeated for Tech to have a shot at the Big Dance.

For starters, no matter how hard I tried two weekends ago, I couldn’t bring myself to pull for Miami. I hate everything about them. Those stupid helmets, those nasty uniforms and all of their hype. Just because they ran up some points on an extremely overrated Ohio State team doesn’t mean that they’re "back."

If I hear "The ‘Canes are back" one more time I think I’ll throw up the food from my Dietrick-lined stomach. They are not back. They had a terrible defense last year, and did anyone else notice that Kenny Kelly underthrows every ball? Yes, they’ll be good, but they are nothing like the powerhouse they once were. Of course, they aren’t funded by the East Coast rap community now either, so that might make a difference.

Another Hokie opponent, West Virginia, lost to East Carolina. I realize this doesn’t do much for our conference, but I can’t help laugh when I hear about this. I didn’t see the game, but I have visions of Marc Bulger’s posterior hitting the turf over and over again as his brand-new offensive line let’s ECU’s defensive linemen slide past them. I can’t wait until Engelberger, Moore, Bradley and Williams get a piece of that action. Bulger will be seeing No. 96 and No. 56 in his nightmares for a few weeks.

The other gem of the weekend was Temple. Doesn’t that word still have a nasty connotation to it? Kind of like socialism, income taxes, and nose-picking. It’s one of those things we prefer not to talk about.

To make last year’s loss even worse, Temple lost to FREAKIN’ MARYLAND 6-0!!!!!!! Can they be any more pathetic? If you are shut out by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Terrapins you should have to forfeit the rest of the season. That is absolutely pathetic.

Syracuse won, but I don’t have much of a problem with that. Let them think they’re good. Sorry Orangewomen, but Nadei Williams or whoever that new quarterback is isn’t going to last long in Blacksburg. Without McNabb, that team would have been 6-5 last year, and they’ll probably be 6-5 this year.

Rutgers lost, but they asked for it. You know, if I’m the coach of a struggling program and we had just had a somewhat successful year, I don’t think that Texas would be the first team I’d put on the schedule. While his work ethic is commendable, Terry Shea’s got to be wondering if his team learned anything from being violated by an angry Longhorns squad (Beamer Ball really works, just ask Mack Brown).

Boston College won, and I’m actually happy for them. They aren’t much of a threat to us, and any school that produced Doug Flutie and knocked off Miami can’t be all that bad. But if they’re having trouble with teams like Baylor, I shudder to think what Tech and Miami will do to them.

Pittsburgh also one, but if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Do I give a rat’s butt? Not really.

But the one win that I absolutely couldn’t stomach in week one was that of our neighbor to the north, Virginia. I guarantee they are all singing the praises of Dan Ellis and already talking about how he’s going to lead them to another stellar season. News flash to the Cavs: Ellis sucks. He proved it against Clemson.  Michael Vick does not. We will win.

Just because UVa beat a crappy North Carolina squad, their "real" rival, doesn’t mean they will be any good. Thomas Jones is their only weapon, and I like our chances. So let them think they have what it takes to be a successful squad, and then let us roll into Charlottesville and show them what real football is about. Actually, I had a feeling Clemson was going to show them a thing or two last weekend, and I was right.   Maybe that'll cure the Hoos of thinking they're any good, and they'll just lie down and let us run them over like squirrels in the road.