Last Weeked on the HCMB
by Huntsville Hokie, 8/22/00

"Last Weekend on the HCMB" is intended to be a semi-comprehensive, pseudo-humorous overview of the weekend activities on the HokieCentral message board. Any misrepresentations on inaccurate quotations were made so as to make the readers of this column laugh uproariously. Anyone taking offense to this article should be advised not to leave oneself so open next time.

Whew, there was a lot of traffic this weekend on HokieCentral. As of Sunday night, I had to scroll down to the eighth page in order to find posts from Friday at 12 noon. I guess that just comes with the territory of being so close to kickoff. Well, without further ado, away we go…

67Hokie96 posted a season script on Friday afternoon. While the scores were slightly outlandish, I can't say I fault him on his choice of outcome. HokieCPA loves the fact that UVA-C quits football.

VT Hokie 2001 can't figure out where Section N is on the Lane Stadium seating chart. Hokie CPA (a frequent contributor to WHWLTW) says they stand for "No seats for you!" I hope not. We don't want to tick off the cadets; they have guns.

joejoe (affiliation unknown) works with complete idiots. Nobody knows which political party he means.

mfhokie asks what play people want to see if we get the ball first. RamblinReck (the WebSlave of GT's 'The Hive' Message Board) has delusions of grandeur.

VT Fanatic asks what the best Tech game ever seen was. TurkeyTime responds with 1998 UVA-C, and 1998 Syracuse. Will gets an itchy trigger finger. (Note to self: Don't ever mess with Will on a Friday night.)

Are HC t-shirts possibly on the way? See reply by Will.

D-man - WDBJ-7 reports that Monroe's been reinstated, and a later post says that he's withheld from competition, (confirmed via some incomprehensible legalese from Weaver on VT MNC Hopeful pleads with HCMBers to wait for the details to come out, and some others agree with him. (A valiant effort there, but I don't think it's gonna happen.) However, the grand majority sing, "I'm disgusted, he's disgusted, she's disgusted, we're all disgusted, please admit that you're disgusted too!" No pitches to drink Dr. Pepper followed, however.

BTW, I don't think hsb likes Monroe. He says he's a Hokie, class of 97, but refers to Hokie fans as "you guys". Personally, I think hsb's mad because Monroe cut in front of him at the liquor store. I mean, really, what could piss somebody off more than that?

Lots of Monroe stuff. (For links, see end of LWHCMB.)

ProudHokie wonders where all of our trophies are displayed. I don't know either. Did some 'Cane steal them because they are "BACK, BAYBEE!!!"

Even more Monroe stuff. Is it just me, or will we see Evil Asmodeus posting again soon? I hope not, he's really evil!

GTWreck advertises for Fantasy Football 2000. 2 questions: is it FREE and is it at PADONIA STATION?

Still more Monroe stuff, amidst many attempts to change the subject, particularly by HokieBONE, and Bruno. Bruno later admits that he was powerless to stem the flood, and reminds us that we have a game next weekend. Hokie68 sez, "A game, next weekend, really?"

AirbornHokie uses blatant self-promotion on the HCMB for his magazine, the Virginia Adversaria, of which he is editor. But hey, it's featuring an article about HokieCentral. That works for me!

Oh, my! Beach Hokie's post is probably going to summon the FOCUS Police! Aauugh!

What do Vick and Karenna Gore have in common? Oh, come on, DaveVT, I thought that was going to be a joke! What a letdown!

David Teel and the Sporting News predict that we go 9-3, and Vick is out of the Heisman race by week 4. OK, I think we can all agree that they're on crack. (Uuhhh, maybe I should've picked another drug…)

coldbeer (a GT fan) just had to comment on Kendrick's summer schedule of Creative Dance and Consumer Health. Hey, give the guy a break. There's no way that I could pass Creative Dance!

atlanta1hokie posts "Derrius Monroe, one last time." *chuckle, chuckle*

I-85 Hokie posts that USC and Kansas State scheduled each other. Top Jimmy (hey, he cooks, he swings, he's got the look….he's the king) replies that Weaver is committed to playing name teams, such as Texas A&M, Wisconsin, Illinois, Ohio State. Oops, my bad, that was Ohio U. Can we just replace Ohio U with Ohio State? Let's just show up in Columbus and say "Hey, we're supposed to be playing you guys! Tell Michigan to go home!"

Esquire wants to know what Will's grade was in Creative Dance. Does anybody have a link to that video?

everydayhokiefan wants to know some favorite tailgating foods. Baltimore Hokie replies "Cheezy Poofs!" Hey, BH, do you know where to find those ChinPokoMon action figures? I've got to buy them. Also, I'm not sure I really want to know what's in Hokieloca's Bedouin stew. Sounds 'crazy' to me.

Tallynole shows some class in not ragging us about DM. Thanks, HokieJay, for replying "Dadgummit, it's not like he shot the President!" >:(

I can't believe I'm only to Saturday @ 6:00pm by now!

Richmond Hokie's "Twas the week before kickoff" thread was really cool until Beachoo screwed it up. BeachHokie, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go over to Beachoo's place and kick his (fourth point of contact). And don't worry, we won't disavow you on this one.

Technically gives us a report on the VA Wine Festival without a report on the VA Cheese Festival. Hoos cry out in anguish (just not on the HCMB, thank God!)

OMG, somebody outside the Big East (ultraviolet, a poster from ECU), realizes that Miami's not BACK, BAYBEE! this year!

onehoo gives credit to Vick, saying that he is the single best college football player this year. But I'll bet that he still thinks he's 5'3".

Esquire posted the following question, taken from the WVU board: "If you were stranded on a desert island, and could take one food, one girl, and one tape of a sporting event, what would they be?" It's a shame that question only got one reply. (For the record, I'd have to say beer, anybody but Darva Conger (well, almost anybody, some would require extra beer but others might require too much), and the first 3 quarters of the Sugar Bowl.)

Jamel Smith causes a fumble, Corey got a sack, Keion's doing great, Ox got released, and Shy ripped off a long run. Well, 4 out of 5 ain't bad.

Scrimmage report sounds really good (link by Hokiepac). I hope Wilford is ready to play, it sounds like he made some great plays, turning a catch into a 50 yard gain and grabbing an over-the-shoulder catch on the next play.

HokieDan95 wants to know why he can't get an "HC" beside HokieCentral in his bookmarks list. Local gives the correct answer, saying that HokieCentral should be the little house at the top of the browser. It is for me, Local.

MustangHokie posts "That thing is HUUUUUUUGE!" I know you were talking about the scoreboard (well, at least now I do), but I wonder how many clicked on that post thinking it was something else….

Jeff Sagarin ranks VT at #9, and the Big East at #7, behind the Mountain West Conference. Here's another one that's on….errrrr….dope.

Beeski reports that all GT students have to take Calculus. Sucks to be them.

Culpeper Hokie posts "All of these righteous, moralistic posturings crack me up." Was that pun intended?

The Monroe situation was getting so out of hand that OMBandit posts "Can we please talk about NASCAR instead of Monroe?" Oh, that's gonna go over like a lead brick! VT MNC Hopeful has some other interesting topics to talk about as well.

Tiger won the PGA Championship. At least he had some competition this time. Well, poor astrohokie, he had it taped. Way to ruin it for him, guys!

I think the "Test" message by CanesRUs has generated more replies than any other "Test" message in the history of the HCMB - 10 replies as of 12:35am EDT. Probably due to the "UM#1"on the inside. More as this breaking story develops.

Well, the stadium expansion is delayed again, reported by Esquire. First it was 2000, then 2000, then 2001, you put your left foot in, you put your left foot out…

I was going to do a post sampling on the Monroe issue, but after scrolling from Friday noon to Sunday midnight, I just don't think I could stomach going back and editing all that. (Not only that, I also don't think I could make them humorous, so definitely no dice.) Yes, I know I commented on Friday night about what a field day I'd have with all the DM posts, but in light of my current sobriety, I just can't do it. So here's some of the lengthier threads if you want to read them.

And these were just the ones with a significant number of replies.

Be-dee, be-dee, that's all folks!



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