"Last Weekend on the HCMB" is intended to be a semi-comprehensive, pseudo-humorous overview of the weekend activities on the HokieCentral message board. Any misrepresentations on inaccurate quotations were made so as to make the readers of this column laugh uproariously. Anyone taking offense to this article should be advised not to leave oneself so open next time.

Well, the GT game has come and gone…well, it came, but it never went…did it ever really come at all? Anyways, 18 pages on the message board says that (a) football season has arrived, whether the game was played or not, and (b) everybody had their take on it. Here’s some of what went down on the board this weekend.

Reciprocal Hokie’s last game attended in person was Temple in 1998, and asks "Anyone wanna dissuade me from going to the game?" I would advise you not to ask that question at a tailgate on Sunday, as you might find yourself hogtied in someone’s trunk. Coincidentally, that was the last game that Charlotte Hokie missed. Hmmm…

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154215.html

Will forgets to put Beerman’s picks up on HC, and hurriedly rushes to get it out. Phone lines are jammed as thousands of Hokies call their bookies.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154240.html

ConsultingHokie states his fervent wish that Mr. Weaver gets fireworks for the game. Mr. Weaver didn’t listen, but God sure did! (Just ask Lee Corso)

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154258.html

VTHokie01 posts a link to ESPN’s most exciting athletes poll. Beerman doesn’t understand why Tiger Woods is on the list. Uuhhhh, Beerman, you’re not a golfer, are you?

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154282.html

Orange&Maroon asks if anybody knows who Clemson opens up with this year…The Citadel! A few Hokies ask if anybody remembers who VT opened up with last year…uhh, point made.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154351.html

CactusJack makes a BBCP (Bi-Boardal Cross Post, for the uninitiated) from LeSabre about the hoos whining about too much VT paraphernalia. Hokie CPA asks, "There’s another Div. 1A football team in Virginia?" Cavalier Nancy considers boycotting LeSabre because they’re talking about Hokie stuff.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154351.html

Golden Hand enlightens the Hokie Faithful with fanciful tales of GT nickname origins. That’s interesting, but we really didn’t want to hear about that "Golden Hand" stuff!

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154421.html

Well, now we know where we got jinxed about the weather. Read J.R. Hokie’s post.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154423.html

Notebook Plus actually had some decent information this week. But just what is GoJackets trying to say about our team? Is he trying to say that if we put crickets on the field against GT, we would win?

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154424.html

Thanks, drill’emhokie, I thought I was the only one listening to the MV CD at full volume for 2 weeks prior to the game.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154432.html

Hokie in CT reports that the world is coming to an end, because an old Hartford paper writes about VT, then proceeds to argue with Cactus Jack about where the American Revolution was located. Geez, didn’t y’all see The Patriot, it was in South Carolina!

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154462.html

edmondhokie: "Hey-Shane, Wrong-Tech!" ROFL!

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154496.html

VTPhreek (huh?) gets into the action with this post that’s going to make your eyes hurt trying to find all the capital letters in it. Too bad nobody noticed this post, because if he hadn’t told you to look for the caps, it would’ve been a classic.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/25/154625.html

Boardhost over at LeSabre writes a huge rant about the President of their university and his not liking their favowite wittle wogo, and in the process tries to get LeSabre supporters to boycott the first game. (a) That smacks of Cavalier Nancy tactics, (b) like they would have more than 15 fans there anyways, and (c) could you imagine the flap that would occur if Will wrote something like that about Tech? Not that Will would do such a thing, I’m just surprised that Boardho would deliberately tarnish the reputation of such a fine…..oh, wait, he’s talking about UVA-C. Never mind.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154659.html

Atlee Hokie, you hit the nail right on the head on this reply. "It’ll be sort of a downer…"

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154662.html

Hokie101 thinks that DE play will be the difference. Atlee Hokie wonders if our depth is layered. Huh? When did we start achieving the hoo’s exalted ‘layered depth’ status?

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154665.html

1MichiganHokie reports that he finally made it, 718 miles, 11 hours, and 4 diapers later. D-day responds that it was the diapers that helped him make good time.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154692.html

hokieokieafdude reports that Winslow (FOX Sports) says that Kevin Jones is down to PSU and F$U. J.R. Hokie replies that he’s an idiot, but come on. Nobody is so bad as to make Beano Cook look ingenious.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154788.html

PF’s thoughts on the season: "To all you who believe that we will go 12-0, I sure hope you are right and I think we have a chance. But with that said, it will not be easy…" Uuhhh, is it just me, or shouldn’t it be HARD to go 12-0. I mean, if it were easy, we’d have 13 undefeated teams.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154828.html

Atlee Hokie’s weather forecast as of Saturday afternoon was right on. Now where was GFallsFan to complain about mens’ fixation with weather radar?

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154829.html

CyberHokie asks what the Hokie Faithful are doing Saturday night to keep their sanity. I’m not sure that I want to know what astrohokie’s response means. HOaKIE dared reply with NASCAR.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154832.html

jrbhokie’s Playboy arrived, with Tech picked to go 9-3, and second in the BE. Doberman jokes him about getting Playboy for the articles, right? JKHokie delivers the correct response.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154843.html

Hokie Beast7 is sick of sports anchors calling us "Vah Tech". Well, we are what we are, but I wish that Charley Steiner would stop calling us "Huskies" first.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154873.html

HokieStoned claims that the word Hokie derived from Appalachian farmers. VT MNC Hopeful dashes that notion, and HokieStoned has no links or reference to back it up. I think that teaysvalleyhokie was pretty close to the mark. He shoots, he scores!

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154878.html

Wow, there sure are a lot of long-time Hokie fans reading HC. I wonder how many of them replied a number of years more than their age? ;^)

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/26/154955.html

About now (late Saturday night, early Sunday morning), there are a bunch of posts relating to things such as "Today is here!" "Anticipation…(it’s making me wait)", and especially this classic by Culpeper Hokie.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/27/155069.html

Seminoles and Pirates and Wahoos, oh my! (As well as Bears too!) A Pirate, a Nole, and an Wahoo come to HC wishing us well, (is it me, or does this sound like the beginnings of a joke?) and speed trap sightings abound on HCMB Sunday morning.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/27/155130.html

This post by VT MNC Hopeful probably sums up the feelings of the entire Hokie Nation.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/27/155195.html

And so the waiting begins. Another classic by VT MNC Hopeful. More weather radar posts. I’m glad that GFallsFan is at the game and not reading HC (for her sake).

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/27/155205.html

Finally, the game is cancelled, per a post by VTRULZ. A short, succinct response by teaysvalleyhokie reminds me of the cartoon of James Hetfield (Metallica) saying "Napster….bad!"

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/27/155241.html

For a short time, the HCMB becomes the History Channel Message Board, as evidenced by the replies to 73 Grad – 01 Dad.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/27/155257.html

Well, at least somebody still has their sense of humor. Memphis Hokie lists the good things about Sunday night.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155368.html

Let the record show that neither VT 0 – GT 0 nor Mother Nature 1 – Tech fans 0 were predicted by anyone.

Technocrat posts a great picture from Roanoke.com. Shocking!

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155398.html

A list of NFL cuts were posted Monday morning by Curious Hokie. He did confirm that Hawkes was on the cut list, but Elmer Fudd knows the truth about that…

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155409.html

There were lots of complaints about the evacuation procedures (uhhh, go that way, I guess…) and the lack of traffic direction by the Blacksburg police. This post was somewhat representative of the posts discussing the problems inherent in such a sudden unforeseen circumstance:

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155383.html

Let’s Go Orange! may very well have a point about domes, but (a) why does he have to keep repeating it? and (b) I’d rather have one like Seattle’s new one or the BOB in Arizona, so we could have REAL GRASS (take that and smoke it, Orange!)

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155422.html

DisneyNole brings up an interesting question: SOS. Oh, Gawd, it’s starting again!

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155431.html

The best post I’ve seen so far about Sunday night was created by Tough Turkey.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155451.html

Sunday night, well, fine, it’s bound to happen sometime. But next weekend? Sheesh!

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155477.html

SOS, BCS, it looks like all those acronyms are starting to crop up again! Hokie CPA informs us that the game would be replayed only if it impacts the BCS #1 and #2.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155503.html

Who does God love? Hokies or Yellow Jackets? See the link to find out…

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155513.html

Tailgate Guru (how did your tailgate go, Guru?) discusses the lack of preparedness of the Tech officials in not anticipating what to do in such a situation. See Will’s game report for those odds, and decide if you think a 0.0013889 probability is something to plan for. Maybe they should make sure that animal trainers are on hand just in case some bears come out of the Jefferson National Forest and make their way to the sidelines.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155534.html

I thought that the car struck by lightning was Corso’s. (At least, that’s what my sister told me after she met him at the airport.) CBURGGOBBLER has a different story.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155594.html

And what about refunds? Do we get our money back or not? Do we just donate it to the BCA? Questions galore (and not many answers) in this post…

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155613.html

Traffic in Lot 5 sucked. Traffic in Lot 6 sucked. Traffic in Lot 9 sucked (as well as the mud, hee hee). Traffic in public Lot 2 (by the Cage) was pretty bad as well. Anywhere where it didn’t suck?

The bright side and a great quote from Zanderhokie.

http://www.hokiecentral.com/message_board/football/2000/August/28/155651.html

And at this point, the HCMB turned (at least temporarily) to the Zips (Akron, not the number of minutes of football we saw on Sunday). And the post clock being noon on Monday, I think that’s probably a fitting stopping point for TWHCMB. In closing, I’ll leave you with a post sampling of game predictions that were thrown out there over the weekend, and a quote from me that I think sums up the weekend:

Beerman: 223 – 0
J.R. Hokie: 41 – 17
Fourhokies: 105 – 6
Vikingobbler: 51 – 13
Go Hokies Go!: 56 – 14
O&M 69: 46 – 24
wall: 42 – 14
VTHokie01: 62 – 26
’61 Hokie: 41 – 17
mfhokie: 34 – 17
GBL GBL: 49 – 24
EatAPeachHokie: GT will DIE!
Ray: 48 – 0
VT Pops: 38 – 17
Scoreboard testing: 99 – 0
vthhi: 48 – 24
PC Hokie: 41 – 10
Hokie Trader: 31 – 17
Disney Nole: 27 – 13

HH

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