Beerman's Picks
by Ben Shapiro, 9/11/02
Each week this season, I will be posting
a column previewing the upcoming weekend's Big East and Top-25 match-ups.
All rankings are from the
ESPN/USA Today Coaches Poll . I don't pick winners (that's too easy),
I pick against
the spread .
All picks are for entertainment purposes only.
Last Week: Miami would have beaten
the Cowboys. Badly. WVU looked bad, aTm won a stare down
with UPitt, BC escaped with a win against Stanford, and the less
said about Rutgers the better.
This Week: Talk about some quality
games! You ever wanted to rocket up the polls? Now's the
weekend to do it. There are no fewer than five (that's all four
fingers AND your thumb, Herd fans) top-25 face offs this week.
Not in Action: #4 Tennessee, #14
Washington, #23 Texas A&M
Thursday, September
12
7:45 pm EST
ESPN
Marshall (#17)
1-0 (Away: 0-0)
-11.5
Virginia Tech (#9)
2 -0
(Home: 2-0)
It's
time to show the Thundering Herd what big time football is all
about. We are not Mid-tacular, nor are we MAC-tastic.
We are a top-echelon major college football program. Marshall
is a sideshow. Come one come all, see the amazing Byron
Leftwhich! See him leap tall buildings in a single bound?
No. See him get knocked in the teeth by Jim Davis.
See Athlons #1 WR corps do what they do best? No.
See Whitaker, Hall, and Pile do what they do best.
No one comes into our house, talking
the kind of smack that I've seen spewn forth from Huntington.
No one stands in front of our
ESPN cameras and tries to take away our hype.
No one comes into our house and
leaves with a Heisman Trophy.
Most importantly, no one comes
into our house on a Thursday night and walks away with a win.
No sir.
Marshall will indeed find out
what its like to be part of the big time. It starts with
the deafening cacophony of 65,000 lunatic fans. It looks like the 300 pound lineman chasing you down faster than you can run
away. It feels like a crushing hit on an ill-advised crossing
route. It tastes like the underside of a muddy cleat.
It ends with the solemn quiet of the long ride home.
Pick: HOKIES!
Saturday, September
14
12:00 pm EST
ESPN+, GamePlan
Miami (#1)
2-0 (Away: 1-0)
-37
Temple
1 -1
(Home: 1-0)
I hope Florida is just that bad
this year. If not, everyone else in I-A may as well quit
right now.
Temple is just that bad,
so yes ... they may as well quit right now.
Pick: Miami
8:00 pm EST
ABC, GamePlan
-13
Texas (#2)
1-0 (Away: 0-0)
North Carolina
1 -1
(Home: 0-1)
It's
the Mack Brown Traveling Road Show and Football Review!
Personally, I think every school
should write it into their coaching contracts, that in the event
of departure the ex-coach must schedule a series with his new
team within the next few years. It makes great theatre.
Pick: Texas
7:00 pm EST
FoxSportsNet
PPV
UTEP
0-1 (Away: 0-1)
-43
Oklahoma (#3)
2-0 (Home: 1-0)
Well,
perhaps Oklahoma doesn't have the best defense in college football
after all. They were straight up beat and they know it.
Now UTEP's about to know it as well. But I don't pick
anyone to cover a 40 point spread...
Pick: UTEP
7:45 pm EST
ESPN
-14
Florida State (#5)
2 -0
(Away: 1-0)
Maryland
1-1 (Home: 1-0)
Right
now Florida State is averaging 60 more rushing yards per game
than Nebraska. Small sample size I realize, but how often
is that ever the case?
Maryland couldn't hang for 60 against FSU last year, and that
was probably their best chance. It'd be nice if the Terps
could pull this one off, but I just don't see it.
Pick: Noles
2:30 pm EST
NBC
-3.5
Michigan (#6)
2-0 (Away: 0-0)
Notre Dame (#21)
2 -0
(Home: 1-0)
I don't
promise much, but I'll promise you this. If Notre Dame
fails to score an offensive touchdown for the third game in
a row, they will NOT be 3-0 at the end of the day.
Pick: Michigan
8:00 pm EST
ABC, GamePlan
-5.5
Nebraska (#7)
3 -0
(Away: 0-0)
Penn State (#25)
1 -0
(Home: 1-0)
Nebraska
is still having trouble running the ball consistently.
Of course, Penn State is still having trouble winning football
games in this not-so-new century.
I'm agog at the size of this line.
Seriously. JoePa must have someone paid off, because if
you wiped the school name off their jerseys, there's no way
That PSU's roster of "talent" would be only 5.5 point dogs...
Pick: Nebraska
3:30 pm EST
ABC, GamePlan
Washington State (#11)
2-0 (Away: 0-0)
-8
Ohio State (#8)
2-0 (Home: 2-0)
One
of these teams is a pretender. The question is which?
The oddsmakers evidently think that
Wazzou is coming up short today. I think they're right.
I don't believe in their running game, and I'm not sold on their
defense. They're Marshall, Pacific Northwest style...
The Bucks have not been tested
yet. I thought Texas Tech would, but they didn't.
I may not think WSU is a contender, but they are bowl
quality. If OSU takes them down in grand fashion, the
rest of the Big Ten should be a little worried.
Pick: WSU
3:30 pm EST
CBS
-5
Georgia (#10)
1 -0
(Away: 0-0)
South Carolina
1 -1
(Home: 1-0)
What
kind of yahoo turns the ball over 7 times to the Wahoos?
That Lou Holtz, he sure is a crafty
one! He knows that his team is probably not MNC caliber,
so those non-conference games really don't matter much.
By taking a dive against France last week, not only does he
cause Georgia to become somewhat overconfident, he also can
use it as a motivator for his own players. Furthermore,
every year that Algroh stays in his job, is one more year the
balance of power is preserved in the East. Aye...he's
a sneak!
Pick: USC-East
3:30 pm EST
Idaho
0 -2
(Away: 0-2)
-32
Oregon (#12)
2-0 (Home: 2-0)
Another
walkover. I'm not even going to pick the spread here.
I'm going to pick if I think this will be a bigger blowout than
Miami-Temple. It's not a matter of running it up, it's
a matter of who's third string can't help but to score by running
up the middle on every play in the second half.
Pick: Ducks
6:00 pm EST
PPV-FL
Ohio
0-2 (Away: 0-1)
-41.5
Florida (#13)
1 -1
(Home: 1-1)
Last
week Ohio U. was shut out at home by Northeastern .
Yeah, the I-AA team, not the lousy B-10 squad. As bad
as Rutgers is, it does look like they've got some competition
for #117. No matter how
you look at it, Ohio is doomed. Florida is looking to
release some frustration from last week. Also, they pretty
much have to out-RUTS the Northeastern's 31-0 mark. Come
to think of it, this is probably the blowout of the week.
Pick: Florida
12:00 pm EST
ESPN2
California
2-0 (Away: 0-0)
-13.5
Michigan State (#15)
2-0 (Home: 2-0)
Cal
at 2-0? What is the world coming to?!?!
Well by about 3:30 this afternoon,
Cal should be 2-1 and the world will resume its normal axial
tilt...
Pick: MSU
3:30 pm EST
ABC, GamePlan
Southern California (#16)
1-0 (Away: 0-0)
-2
Colorado (#19)
1-1 (Home: 1-1)
And
now Colorado's starting QB is going to miss a game or two with
a knee injury. Once again, the parallels between the Buffs
and the Hokies are downright eerie.
Pick: Colorado
12:00 pm EST
ESPN+, GamePlan
Northern Illinois
1-1 (Away: 0-1)
-22
Port Chester U. (#18)
2-0 (Home: 0-0)
As
a refresher for all my readers out there, Port Chester is my
own personal colloquialism for the mighty Wisconsin Badgers.
And before I make fun of NIU, it
is worth noting that they have beaten Wake Forest already this
year. That means they are currently ahead of France in
the ACC standings :O)
Pick: Whooping Cranes
7:00 pm EST
Wake Forest
1 -1
(Away: 0-1)
-13.5
N.C. State (#20)
3-0 (Home: 1-0)
Did
I actually pick Navy to cover the spread against N.C. State
last week? What was I thinking? How did my editor
let that one through? (Note from Will: "Hey ... !!") Oy...
Normally beating East Carolina
would be a positive step for a team like Wake Forest.
But after opening the season with back to back losses to the
ACC basement, I have to think ECU has their sights set on fighting
Rutgers for the National Chumpionship.
Pick: NCSU
8:00 pm EST
GamePlan
Miami (OH)
1-1 (Away: 1-0)
-12
LSU (#22)
1-1 (Home: 1-0)
I'm
looking long and hard for an upset pick for this week.
Dare I pick a decent MAC team over the Tigs?
hmmm ....
Pick: LSU
4:00 pm EST
SportsWest
-14
BYU (#24)
2-0 (Away: 0-0)
Nevada
0-1 (Home: 0-0)
Did
you know that BYU has their own satellite television channel
available through the Dish Network? If you're a card-carrying
LDS and have a satellite, you can get Cougar games anywhere
in the world. Actually, I suppose we heathens can probably
get it as well, but that's more Mormon programming than I think
I really could handle.
Dammit, where's HokieTV ?!? Who do I talk to about this?
Pick: Cougs
3:30 pm EST
Rhode Island (I-AA)
1-1 (Away: 0-1)
(no line)
Syracuse
0-2 (Home: 0-1)
I find
it peculiar that Syracuse has scheduled what should be
their home opener as the third game of the year. Does
this make sense to anyone? Do the Orangemen not realize
that those first two games actually count?
Pick: Syracuse
7:00 pm EST
-6.5
Pittsburgh
1 -1
(Away: 0-0)
UAB
1 -1
(Away: 0-1)
OK,
so UPitt's defense is something to be reckoned with. This
is a good thing on the whole. And they did start figuring
out aTm's defense there late in the game. Too little to
late I'm afraid, but hopefully they can carry some momentum
into this game. A nice pasting of the Blazers would set
a good tone for the rest of the year.
Pick: UAB
7:00 pm EST
West Virginia
1-1 (Away: 0-1)
-4.5
Cincinnati
1-0 (Home: 1-0)
Well
the good news is that losing at Wisconsin is not really something
to be ashamed of. The bad news is that the 'Eers couldn't
even hang close. More bad news is that the Bearcats are
expected to be a CUSA contender this year, returning 16 starters
from a team that went 7-5 a year ago. In fact, the more
I read about Cinci, the less I like West Virginia's chances.
Pick: Cincinnati
7:00 pm EST
FoxSports NY
-4.5
Army
0-1 (Away: 0-0)
Rutgers
0-2 (Home: 0-2)
Mr.
Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic
things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent
response were you even close to anything that could be considered
a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for
having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have
mercy on your soul.
Pick: Banging my head against a wall for three straight
hours
Last Week: 9-13-1 (YTD: 29-27-2)
TV Game of the Week: Wow, there are
lots. But my set will be tuned to OSU-WSU.
Upset Special: South Carolina
over Georgia (YTD: 3-1)
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