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Friends, Hokies, countrymen, lend me your beer. Better yet, have one for yourself, for it will make what I have to say more believable -- or at the very least, funnier.

What I'm about to tell you, some of you may find hard to believe. But on my honor, I swear it's true! And that's no fake I-go-to-UVA-where-we-have-an-Honor-Code honor either; it's the real thing. So here it is. Are you ready?

We matter.

I'll say that again for those of you who didn't hear me, or got amnesia from your jaw hitting the floor. WE MATTER.

And I'm not talking about "matter" like in the world, or in life. Nay, I'm talking the IMPORTANT kind of "matter": to Hokie Football! (To be fair, however, for some Hokie Football IS the world and life itself, so those people win on all three counts.)

Chuckling? Guffawing? Looking for proof? Here it comes!

We'll start with what first tipped me off that we matter. It's the week after the ECU game. Many people were unsure about the talent level of the team prior to the game, but we just whipped them! From one side of the field to the other, the Hokies reigned supreme. And there was joy ... for a little while.

Then came the introspection, the random musings, both from Will's game report, and message board posters. "Where was Corey Moore?" "Our DBs have GOT to play better." "We didn't get much pressure on the QB, did we? Only one sack?" And "We need turnovers!"

Fast forward to the Clemson game, Week Two. Corey Moore was outstanding (check). The DBs helped shut down Clemson's passing game, with Ferguson getting three picks (check check -- covers turnovers as well!). And we just KILLED their QB, with Moore and Engelberger playing "race ya."

Hmmm ....

Could it have been US that spurred the players to go harder, the fueled the improvements? Clear your mind, and picture this scenario, the Tuesday after ECU:

Corey Moore walks into Beamer's office. "You wanted to see me coach?"

Beamer replies, "Yeah, son, I did. Come over here and take a look at this." (For some reason I picture Beamer as the type of guy who calls everyone "son." Don't ask me why, but he just seems like that kind of guy to me.)

Moore looks puzzled as he sees what Beamer's looking at. "The Internet, coach? HokieCentral? But ... I thought you HATED that?!"

"Nah, son," says Beamer, "that's just coach-speak, misdirection for our opponents, a wild conspiracy I've started. I want you to read what Will's said here, son. Right here."

Corey reads out loud: "... 'Corey Moore was eerily quiet on Saturday ... he was the invisible man.' Yeah, coach? So?"

"So? SO!? Son, let me show you the warning at the top of this here message board (Beamer also strikes me as the type of person who says "this here" a lot, too). "'This message board is read by Virginia Tech coaches, athletic department officials, players, members of the media, and their families.' AND THEIR FAMILIES, son! We can't have these people reading about how you're an invisible man! Don't you realize what that'll do to our coverage? To our recruiting??"

Moore responds, visibly shaken, "O-okay, coach. I'll do my best."

"See that ya do, son. If I see another word about you on HokieCentral, you'll run laps til WILL is tired! Now send in Zo for me ... ."

Possible? Plausible? Probable. Want further proof? The 37-0 win over Clemson -- before we found out how bad they were, that is -- was seen as HUGE for VT. No negative could possible come out of that.

Except ... "Man, what's Al doing 7-26? SEVEN completions?" "I tell ya what, Al really needs to step up against Miami. He's a SENIOR this year!" "He goes 7-26 against Miami, he's lost the game for us!"

Result? Seen mumbling "I'll show those guys on HokieCentral" just before game time, Al puts on one of the guttiest performances ever by a VT player, to drag the team to victory behind him. WITH a major injury.

Trainer: "Al, you've GOT to come out. You're hurt bad!"

Al, stoic: "Sorry, can't. Gotta win. Gotta win one for HokieCentral. This is for Will, baby!"

Set, pass, catch, win. Al points to the cameras ... "Hi Will! We're number one!" Yep, while most of the world thought he said "mom," it was CLEARLY "Will."

For Pittsburgh, then, posters commented on the need for Meyer to avoid stupid mistakes. "Just don't lose it for us, and our defense can do the rest." Meyer performs admirably, perhaps too afraid to let us down, and if not for a missed holding call, the defense pitches a shutout.

So do we still have any doubting Thomases here? Well, read on ... here's the most convincing proof!

BC game. Third string quarterback. Message board centers not on him, but three things instead: Defense, special teams ... and Jimmy Kibble. Seems he'd been less than his usual self against Pitt, and a few of the more astute posters proclaimed he needed to shape up.

As you all know, the defense was strong, special teams won us the game ... and in one of the farthest-reaching examples of us mattering, Jimmy Kibble boomed the heck out of the ball, for a 46.7 yard average.

That's right, we even shamed the PUNTER into producing! Can you imagine what the 10 days of practice must have been like for him? "Hey kickboy! Will thinks you're slacking!" "You don't think Tom Turkey was RIGHT, do you?" "Come on, son, prove that Nova Hokie wrong!" I feel honored to have played a part in that turnaround!

Ah, you say, that's all well and good, but what happened against Temple? Explain THAT, matter boy!

Certainly. Many posters began to think like Will posted in the BC game report: "I'm beginning to think the Hokies are invincible." No complaints, no problems at all with the players on the field.

Indeed, all the focus leading up to Temple was on one player only, Michael Vick. Amazingly enough, I hear through my sources that he had the absolute BEST week of practice all season leading up to the Temple game as we debated his pros and cons! But alas, that did us nothing on the field of play.

But we all know about Sorensen (by the way, do you think Nick thought "when I get to college, I'll be an adult, a MAN ... NICK!" And now, whenever he plays, he has Bill Roth calling him "Nicky" like he's twelve years old again?"), the other half of the QB debate. Certainly played well enough to win -- MUCH improved over BC!

Wanna know why we lost? We never complained that week, and we never complained ALL SEASON about Shayne Graham. Sure, comments were made about him, but always of the tone "Yeah, don't worry, he'll even out." "He'll turn it around." "He's great, have faith." I hate to say it, but I think we at HokieCentral let the team down. Maybe if we had complained more about Graham ...

But that's neither here nor there. All this is an effort to prove what I've believed from the start. WE MATTER. So keep on complaining! Keep on whining! Because when we are WHINING, the Hokies are WINNING! When you start to get complacent is when you start to get worse.

So I leave you with this one thought: Man, does that Engelberger guy SUCK or what? And how about Pegues ... and Graham ... and ...

-- Nova Hokie 95