Record: 1-0
AP: not ranked
USA Today: #15

52,000 Tech and JMU fans fill Lane Stadium to witness the debut of Tech's Michael Vick, who doesn't disappoint the crowd, throwing five first half touchdowns before he is removed for Grant Noel, who is later removed for Dave Meyer. In all, the Hokie QB's roll up 8 touchdown passes, and the Hokies win the game by a romp.

Late in third quarter, with the score 56-0, Tech head coach Frank Beamer looks down the Hokie bench and says, "Okay, who hasn't played yet?" One player meekly raises his hand: Ancient Hokie, fourth string quarterback (which causes Atlee Hokie, who has been playing linebacker for nearly a full quarter, to poke Jamel Smith in the ribs, giggle, and say, "What a loser"). Beamer groans, rolls his eyes, and asks, "Did you warm up with Ben Gay?" Ancient Hokies nods, and Beamer sends him in.

Record: 2-0
AP: not ranked
USA Today: #13

The following weekend, only 22,000 fans show up to see Tech play the lowly Blazers, who don't advance beyond their own 35-yard line the entire game. The Hokies are wearing "throwback" uniforms, with white helmets and orange jerseys.

Atlee Hokie pulls a back muscle gawking at the cheerleaders, who have worn hot pants as their "throwback uniforms." Atlee quits the team, figuring that he won't play any the rest of the year, anyway - except for maybe the Rutgers game. Given the recent quarterback injury history, Ancient Hokie figures he has a 50/50 shot at playing later in the year, and he stays on the team.

After the game, Corey Moore says bluntly, "We're the laughing stock of college football, and rightfully so … whoa, sorry - Temple flashback."

Record: 3-0
AP: not ranked
USA Today: #12

On a chilly Thursday night in Blacksburg, in front of a nationwide ESPN audience, new Clemson coach Tommy Bowden and his Tigers are overwhelmed by the Hokies, leading Bowden to remark, "Geez, this is a lot harder than beating Army in the SuperDome."

Clemson's offensive line, which returns no starters from the same unit that was treated like an open window by Engelberger and Moore in 1998, is once again swamped by Tech's talented defensive line. Tech defensive backs become so bored watching sack after sack that they challenge each other to games of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" and charades. Ronyell Whitaker is called for roughing Ike Charlton after Whitaker loses ten games of Rock, Paper, Scissors" in a row.

During the game, Tech graduate assistant coach Al Clark, who carries Beamer's headphone cables (with Sharon McCloskey's blessings), is involved in a collision on an out-of-bounds play that injures Clark's knee. Beamer remarks after the game, "We think Al is going to miss next week's game at UVa, but he should be back for the Rutgers game the following week." Hokie fans groan and then silence themselves quickly, fearing that their negativity will be perceived by Tech AD Jim Weaver as a lack of confidence in the leadership of the football team.

Record: 4-0
AP: #25
USA Today: #10

The Hokies break in UVa's newly enlarged Scott Stadium with a 38-13 romp. The UVa offense, failing miserably under new/old offensive coordinator Yoda, is taken over in the second quarter by UVa head coach George Welsh, who calls 13 runs by Thomas Jones up the middle in a row.

During the game, the Hoos keep a respectable distance from Tech punter Jimmy "The Body" Kibble, who has bulked up over the offseason to 250 pounds in anticipation of the rematch with UVa. One UVa player breaks in to block a Kibble punt, but Jimmy kicks it through the Cavalier's spleen, resulting in a 45 minute delay on the field as last rites are administered by a priest to the fallen UVa player, who sadly never got to drink his "fourth-year fifth."

In the post-game press conference, Welsh blames the loss on his quarterback, his running back, his receivers, his offensive coordinator, his defense, the HooVision operator ("That thing's too loud") and the boy carrying his headset cord ("That kid can't hold Al Clark's jock strap").

During the press conference, Yoda peers angrily at Welsh and says, "No like you I don't. Use Force to make nose grow bigger, I will. Fit whole fist inside, you will."

When asked by Roanoke Times reporter Doug Doughty if the timing of the game - on October 2^nd, early in the season after a road game at BYU - entered into the loss to the Hokies, Welsh responds, "I don't know. Maybe. I wanted to play the game at the end of the season. I've always wanted to play it as the last game of the season, but Coach Beamer didn't want to."

Whereupon Welsh's nose grows considerably in size, and Yoda grins smugly in satisfaction.

Record: 5-0
AP: #24
USA Today: #9

The Hokies continue to roll, pummeling the hapless Scarlet Knights. In the post game press conference, Coach Beamer says, "Five or ten more of these and maybe I'll forget about that 1992 game." He pauses. "Nah."

In the game, Michael Vick throws for five more touchdown passes, bringing his season total to 20, putting him within reach of Maurice DeShazo's 1993 record of 22.

Al Clark is still mysteriously hobbled by his injury and is unable once again to carry Coach Beamer's headset cords. Coach Beamer trips over the cords in the third quarter, and then calls Defensive Coordinator Bud Foster over.

"Hey, Bud," he says, "think we can switch Nicky Sorensen over from defense to cord carrier?"

Foster just glares.

"No?" Beamer says. "What about Jake Houseright?"

Foster still glares.

"Never mind," Beamer says, walking away.

Other than that, nothing remarkable happens in the game, and no one cares.

Record: 6-0
AP: #22
USA Today: #8

As is customary, the Hokies throttle the Orange Peels in Lane Stadium by the score of 31-0. Vick throws another 2 touchdown passes to tie DeShazo's record. Freshman receiver Andrae Harrison catches them both to bring his season total to 10 TD catches, which breaks Antonio Freeman's 1993 season record of 9.

200 Syracuse fans who make the trip hang around afterwards to verbally abuse Syracuse Coach Paul Pasqualoni, who grins sheepishly and says, "It's tradition. Now I'm going to go hang out on the Syracuse On-line message board. I'll be the poster calling himself 'Bite Me.'"

As is also customary, the game is shown ESPN instead of CBS, which broadcasts Miami versus Rutgers instead.

Record: 7-0
AP: #23
USA Today: #6

Returning to the site of their 1997 loss to the only halfway decent (sburgh) team in at least a decade, the Hokies hammer the hopeless (sburgh) Panthers. Vick and Harrison combine for three more TD's, and with four games to go, they have shattered DeShazo's and Freeman's records.

In the post-game press conference, Vick is his usual humble self. "I've still got a lot to learn about playing the quarterback position. I'm just glad the coaches have confidence in me, and I still feel like I'm really learning how to read defenses. I'm just lucky to be here."

Andrae Harrison, wearing shades to the press conference and with his hands wrapped in bandages from catching Vick's bullets, says simply, "I am the best receiver in the history of Virginia Tech football." No one argues.

Also at the press conference, (sburgh) head coach Walt Harris proclaims, "Tech is the best team in the Big East. Sure, Miami's back, but Tech never left. I’m going to predict they'll go undefeated." He barely gets the "U" word out before Coach Beamer slaps him in the back of the head, but it's too late: Roanoke Times Tech beat writer Randy King is already planning his next article about the Hokies possibly going undefeated. Of course, this is only news on the HokieCentral message board, where they have been talking about an undefeated season since Vick signed with Tech in February of 1998.

Unimpressed, AP voters drop Tech in the polls to #23, one spot behind the resurgent 3-4 Notre Dame Fighting Irish, who are fresh off a stunning 14-13 home victory over Navy.

Record: 8-0
AP: #24
USA Today: #4

The Hokies erase another bad 1997 memory, returning to Mountaineer field and laying a whipping on WVU. Although there are no golf balls, liquor bottles or trash cans hurled from the stands, there are the usual whiny complaints issued from the WVU coaching staff.

Unable to complain about holding (even the WVU coaches admit that would be hypocritical, given that their own players have perfected the clothesline choke hold on Tech defensive end Corey Moore) or the noise made by the Tech student body (since the game is at Mountaineer Field), WVU coach Don Nehlen complains instead about the newly bulked up Jimmy Kibble, saying, "That punter of theirs has got to be on steroids. And the damn ball is pumped up too tight. He wouldn’t be able to kick it so far if it wasn't pumped up so tight."

"Well, let me tell you," Frank Beamer says in response, "Don Nehlen is a great coach, and what he's done here at West Virginia is just amazing. I mean, the fans, the winning tradition, everything. They've just got a great team and great fans, and I wish 'em the best," all the while rolling his eyes.

Tech freshman Andrae Harrison, who catches 8 passes for 165 yards and one touchdown, comments, "I am the greatest receiver in the history of Virginia Tech football." No one argues.

Notre Dame demolishes Army, 14-10, and steals even more votes from the Hokies in the AP poll.

Record: 9-0
AP: #2
USA Today: #2

As 52,300 fans and another 1500 standing room only fans pack Lane Stadium for what is hailed as the "biggest game in the history of Tech football," the top-ranked Canes run out of the locker room through a "WE'RE BACK!" banner being held up by Hurricane cheerleaders. The banner doesn't rip, and the cheerleaders collapse in a heap, crushing their Ibis mascot before the Hokie Bird can get a hold of him and pummel him.

The Canes are surprisingly undefeated, having survived a tough early season schedule and the constant fawning of the lap-dog media and Big East commissioner Mike Tranghese to post an unbeaten record.

Even though the game features a top-ranked Miami team and an unbeaten Tech team, CBS passes on it, showing Florida versus Vanderbilt, instead. Likewise, ESPN doesn't even send their top announcing team, instead shipping Charlie "I love Evander" Steiner and Todd "What color is my hair this year?" Christiansen to Blacksburg, figuring, "Hey, Steiner's done so many Tech/Miami games, he probably knows the rosters of both teams inside and out."

Steiner proves his bosses wrong, calling Tech players by names such as Corey Morrison, Ike Carlton, Michelle Vick, Shyrone Smith, Andrae Harris, and "that guy that just tackled KENNY KELLY!" At half-time, a heavily inebriated Steiner is caught making out with Miami linebacker Dan Morgan in the UM locker room. Steiner is fired on the spot, leaving Christiansen to do both the play by play and the analysis, and … well, never mind. You know the rest.

On the field, the Hokies ring up "one for the thumb," their fifth straight victory over the Canes, by a score of 24-21. The winning touchdown comes on a return of a Kenny Kelly fumble by Ike Charlton, once again leaving Canes fans with a ready excuse for why they lost ("If Kelly hadn't fumbled that ball or thrown those five interceptions…").

Mike Tranghese, visibly upset and teary, wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his Miami golf shirt, throws down his Miami cap, and mutters something about Miami being the marquee team of the league.

In the post-game interviews, Frank Beamer says of Tech's first-ever win over a #1 ranked team, "Well, lemme tell ya, that's a great Miami team. Butch Davis is a great coach. Sweaty and nervous-looking, but a great coach. They've got great fans, a great program … " etc., etc., all the while rolling his eyes.

Sure enough, the AP voters finally take notice, and Tech vaults to #2 in both polls, behind … the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame, who have shot all the way to #1 on the strength of a 24-23 win over an 0-7 Boston College team.

Record: 10-0
AP: #2
USA Today: #2

In an unexpected move, CBS bumps the Florida-Tennessee game in favor of the Tech-Temple game, figuring that since it's in the contract that they have to show each Big East team at least once every four years, they might as well kill two birds with one stone. Unfortunately, the game is trumped in the ratings by the Notre Dame - Air Force game, which draws five times as many viewers. An angry CBS cancels its plans to show next week's Tech/Boston College game, and no one else picks it up, meaning that it won't be televised.

In the game, Tech runs up the score on Temple, 77-0. Ricky Hall catches 14 passes, 8 for touchdowns, including four from Michael Vick, two from Grant Noel, one from Dave Meyer, and one from Ancient Hokie, who still refuses to wear a face mask, instead perfecting the art of the "chuck-and-duck" delivery.

In post-game interviews, Ancient Hokie sits next to Andrae Harrison and proclaims, "I am the greatest quarterback in the history of Virginia Tech football," leaving out the important "arthritis-ridden" modifier. Harrison bruises a rib laughing and is pronounced questionable for next week's season-ending, non-televised game against Boston College.

Meanwhile, wearing shades and scowling, Ricky Hall starts off by saying, "Anyone who mentions last year's game is gonna get dropped faster than a game-winning touchdown pass. Any questions?"

The room is silent.

The Hokies hold steady in the rankings behind Notre Dame.

Record: 11-0
AP: #2
USA Today: #2

Lane Stadium is once again sold out, and the fans witness a 24-3 victory by Tech to finish the season 11-0. Since CBS is showing a Heidi rerun, only those fortunate enough to actually have a ticket or to be within range of the Tech radio network get to experience history being made.

Tech fans on the Internet are not so fortunate however, since Tech no longer has a contract with Broadcast.com, and Hokie games are no longer carried on the Internet. The reason? "The Internet is completely out of control," says Tech AD Jim Weaver.

New England Patriot linebacker Chris Slade skips his team flight to Miami to be present in Blacksburg instead, saying, "I just hate Virginia Tech." To which his coach says, "Fine. Spend the whole weekend in Blacksburg, but bring a $50,000 check with you when you come back, because that's what it's going to cost you."

During the game, Slade is wiped out on the sidelines by Hokie cornerback Ronyell Whitaker, who swears later that it was an accident. Really. "I was shooting for Coach O'Brien," Whitaker explains, promising to hone his marksmanship in future sideline collisions.

Since there are no TV cameras present, Boston College players are bolder than ever and can be seen exchanging money during huddles and timeouts. Every time a BC player makes a good play (which is rare), or a bad play (which is common), the rustling of bills can be heard from the Boston College sideline.

In the post-game, Tech All-American Corey Moore says, "We felt coming in that they didn't respect us." When told that that quote was the inspiration for Tech's 1994 12-7 victory in Boston but probably didn't apply anymore, given that Tech has beaten Boston College four straight times now, Moore throws up his hands and says, "Hell, you make up a quote, then. I've never won 11 games in one year. I'm running out of things to say. How about this: these guys suck, and we deserved to win. Every team we played this year sucked, except Miami, and if they weren't back, they'd suck, too. There. Print that."

Andrae Harrison, however, is not running out of things to say, although he is getting redundant. "I'm the greatest receiver in the history of Virginia Tech football he says." No one argues.

The Hokies hold steady at number 2 behind Notre Dame. The Fighting Irish are 7-6 winners over a USC team that has suspended its entire starting lineup for curfew violations.

After the game, Sugar Bowl National Championship bids are extended to Virginia Tech and Notre Dame. TV executives, happy to have the Irish in a national championship game, couldn't care less that Tech is the opponent. Mike Tranghese is once again quoted as saying that Miami is the marquee team of the Big East, and now that "they're back," it's good for the league.

Record: 12-0
AP: #1
USA Today: #1

After five weeks of the press mercilessly hammering Virginia Tech, saying that they don't deserve to be on the same field with the glorious Fighting Irish and saying that Frank Beamer is an insignificant speck compared to Knute Rockne, the two teams finally roll into New Orleans, millenium bug be damned, and take the field.

The Notre Dame fans, thoroughly disgusting at being "forced" to play Virginia Tech, buy only 2500 tickets to the game, but Tech fans, thoroughly delighted at finally getting a shot at Notre Dame, buy the other 72,500 tickets.

The Fighting Irish take the field, crying out "Remember the NIT!" but the battle cry just doesn't do it for a team full of players who weren't even born in 1973. The Hokies make short work of Notre Dame, demolishing them 35-0, and the media immediately starts making excuses for the boys from South Bend.

On the sidelines during the game, a drunk Ron Powlus, who has stumbled out of the stands, can be heard to exclaim, "I'm standing here, and I'm thinking, these guys are losing to Virginia Tech!?" Ronyell Whitaker overhears it and wipes him out, purely by accident.

In a dim, smoky bar in Bristol Connecticut, a disheveled, down-and-out Charlie Steiner is drinking heavily and trying to pick up a bar patron that reminds him of Miami linebacker Dan Morgan.

"I yooshed to be on television, ya know," Steiner slurs. "I did their game" - he waves at the TV - "against Miami, ya know."

The Dan Morgan lookalike says, "Notre Dame played Miami of Ohio?"

"No, no!" Steiner says, shaking his head furiously, sending saliva flying, "I'm talkin' 'bout VAH Tech. I did their game against those INCREDIBLE MIAMI HURRICANES!"

"Miami sucks," the Dan Morgan lookalike responds.

"Yeah, but they're back. Say, anybody ever tell you you look like Dan Morgan?"

"No. Anybody ever tell you you look like Roy Orbison?"

Back at the post-game press conference, Randy King asks Michael Vick, "Now that you've won a national championship as a freshman, what's left?"

Vick answers, "Well, I promised Will at HokieCentral that we would win two. So I've got one more to go."

Meanwhile, Tech Coach Frank Beamer, clutching the Sears National Championship trophy says, "Lemme tell ya, I've got a lot of respect for Notre Dame. They're a great team, with a great coach, and great fans, and great tradition … " all the while rolling his eyes.

The Hokie celebration runs deep into the night on Bourbon Street, and just beyond three in the morning, the phone calls start to trickle into the Tech ticket office. The calls are from fans who want to buy season tickets for the 2000 season.

A bleary-eyed ticket office employee wakes up and answers the phone.