"Randoms" is a Wide Right column housing the whimsical tidbits that consume my day. Most are football related, but as with all my columns, a small dose of the arbitrary is thrown in.

Ok let me get this out of the way right off the bat � never take the first string out before halftime. That�s that.

With those moves, KJ can moonlight for Arthur Murray. KJ needs those dance moves to be the good back that he is - but if he learns when not to dance, he�ll be capable of greatness.

Did you hear the Hokie/UCF game announcers? They started talking about the player from Pittsburgh (linebacker Joey Porter) who was shot outside a club in Denver. One announcer said something like, "Did you hear about the guy from the Steelers who was shot?" The other announcer replied something like, "Yeah. I bet that upsets Bill Cowher." Bill Cowher? Are you kidding? What about the guy with the bullet in his trunk? I think he might be a bit perturbed.

In the future, Hokie games should be announced by the crew from American Choppers: Paul Sr., Pauly Jr., and Mikey, with occasional color commentary from Vinny. These guys need to be on TV more often. Pure comedy.

Marcus Vick. You are the heir apparent to the VT throne. Your time is coming. You share a last name with the greatest college quarterback ever to play the game and you�ll have your chance to take that title from him. So just behave.

Why does BC even bother?

I�ve heard talk about Tech having too many wide receivers. Too many? That�s like saying Britney Spears used too much tongue at MTV�s Video Music Awards. Simply not possible.

Hey media folk � his name is spelled R-A-N-D-A-L-L. 22-28, 278 yards, 3 TDs and 0 INTs can�t be ignored.

For years, I have heard several people (all of which are fans of other teams) make fun of our uniforms. Well, I finally heard the most ridiculous comment the other day. I was told that, while our uniforms are ugly, we should at least have stripes on the shoulders: "It would make you look bigger." Evidently we�re getting a Queer Eye for the Tech Guy make-over. Forget that, I would rather be big than look big, T(w)erp fan.

I just finished my fantasy football draft last night and without fail, as has happened in many other drafts this year, Mike Vick was taken way too high for a guy that may not play at all this year. Yeah well, I couldn�t help myself. I almost took Suggs in the 6^th round too, �til my wife asked me why I didn�t just hand over my money and go home.

Ever notice, in a fantasy draft, how many times people ask if Peyton Manning has been taken yet? I heard it in round 8, and thought he was joking until he followed it up with "Who does David Beckham play quarterback for?" Yeah, every draft has that guy � thanks for your hundred bucks.

I am proud to report that Andre Davis was drafted, albeit in the 14^th round. Cleveland is going to be tossing the ball around quite a bit this year - Andre might turn out to be this year�s Seabiscuit. But faster of course.

Why hasn�t anyone come out with a really good college fantasy draft yet? It�s a very good idea, quite possibly in the same league as pizza delivery.

From now on it should be illegal for player�s likenesses to be on any video game. A little late for Mikey but maybe we can save KJ, or dare I say . . . Randall.

Blue cheese dressing is quite simply the greatest condiment ever.

My BC buddy returned Wednesday from a long Labor Day weekend. The first thing out of his mouth was "Hey pal, we play you last game of our season." I couldn�t decide whether to laugh at him or cry for him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed that BC was looking past the Deacs for their big match up against the powerhouse that is Ball State, Sept. 27.

Now I am not one to make fun of a fluffy schedule, but just make sure you win those games. It�s like stacking your semester with Personal Health and Drug Education, and not even peeking at the koofers.

So in my fantasy draft I was seriously considering purchasing a throw away team composed of VT players only, just to see how well they do. But with the injuries to Vick and Suggs and Antonio Freeman�s mug on the side of a milk carton, I decided against it. My next thought was to make a Commonwealth team, and draft players who went to UVa and Tech. Needless to say, my team fell a little short on receivers. But the whole exercise made me realize a few key things:

1. UVa has placed some really good specialist players into the NFL: Tiki Barber, Aaron Brooks, Thomas Jones . . .
2. While Tech has recently begun to put good specialists into the pros, we have already put an amazing amount of talented "lunch pail" defensive workhorses into the NFL.
3. Interestingly enough, it has been proven by the last umpteen Super Bowl champions that (when it matters most) defense beats offense, looks to me like Bud Foster�s a smart guy.
4. This all leads me to a very simple conclusion. If defense wins games and offense sells tickets, then judging by our performance thus far, the Hokies are the main attraction this year.

By the way I did confirm one thing with my friend from BC. I asked him what in the hell happened to them in the 4^th quarter (against Wake). His reply: "Don�t know. Never entered the stadium. Great tailgate though." And yes, he�s a season ticket holder (20 rows up 45 yd. line � had to pay extra for �em).

Enough reminiscing. Time to look forward to the Hokie�s future and provide some insight about our next opponent, James Madison University. I hear it�s a good school. It looked nice enough from that Exxon station where I used to stop for gas and a sub on the way to Tech.

Hokies 60
Dukes 10

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