Randoms is a Wide Right column housing the whimsical tidbits that consume my day. Most are football related, but as with all my columns, a small dose of the arbitrary is thrown in.

• Why don�t people pretend to take a knee when going in at halftime and then throw for a touchdown?

• It is better to have silence than to have backup commentators.

• Nothing has become more apparent to me this football season than the importance of a solid kicking team and good Chinese delivery.

• Hey Jacob Gibson, what�s with your line-up introduction picture?

• This lightning strike on Corso�s car will live on forever. Mark May thought he was pulling a funny when he warned the Army fans to stay away from Corso�s rental car Saturday. It�s all in the delivery Mark. . . You�ll learn.

• Bryan Randall and Marcus Vick have their numbers on their under eye patches. Umm, why? How often do these things get mixed up?

• We lead the Big East in everything, by the way.

• I feel for UCONN. I really hope Terry Caulley is OK. Running backs, I am convinced, are the key to football greatness. Teams can win big games with mediocre QBs, but not with mediocre running backs. (Think: Ohio State last year, the Redskins with Doug Williams and Mark Rypien, the Baltimore Ravens with Trent Dilfer.) I don�t care what Spurrier says, you don�t win consistently without a very good running game.

• Ernest Wilford � what a catch. It doesn�t hurt to have a great receiver too.

• If you own a team jersey and your team is playing, wear it.

• Let�s talk about the hair folks. Is Garnell Wilds teaming up with Ricky Williams? Which one�s going to be Vanilli?

• You know how they make baseball caps with false ponytails? I�m currently designing football helmets with dreadlocks coming out the back.

• We are one week closer to being able to move Mike Vick off the bench and into our fantasy starting QB slot. I know I am not the only guy who passed on a healthy Priest Holmes in order to draft a pine-riding Vick. Come on, I know there are more of you out there. (Editor's Note: Yup, that's me. -- Will)

• You just don�t go for it on 4^th down against the Hokies. Eric Green 84 yds, and for the second week in a row I get flagged for excessive celebration.

• Punting, punting, punting. Special teams is so important. Pride and Joy - has ever a name been more fitting?

• Is it stupid of me to trade Edgerrin James and Tiki Barber for Andre Davis? Did you see him single handedly beat the Niners?

• Hey Torrian Gray�s at UCONN � cool.

• Let�s talk uniforms. First you have the Oregon Ducks, affectionately known as the fighting highlighters. They have brought this discussion to a whole new level. But let�s focus on tasteful uniforms. I love our all whites � simply the classiest uniform in college football (picture Mike Vick in the �99 Sugar Bowl). My second favorite is all maroon � just a tough, tough look. I know a lot of people like maroon tops and white bottoms but I think they make us look top heavy, like weebles. Call me wardrobe-challenged, but bring back the all orange unis. Love those. Maybe pull them out of retirement for when we play Oregon. Now that�s a Queer Eye episode waiting to happen.

• Just had a thought. We have an amazingly loud stadium. Just imagine the noise at field level when the screams from the student side bounce back off the future press box expansion.

• I was watching Game Day Saturday and I think Herbstreit dyed his hair yellow. Am I alone here? Can we get a tape of that?

• I have a friend who went to UCONN and frankly, nothing about their sports program leaves me unimpressed � fans, players, AD. Hey ACC, I think they are close enough to the coast, don�t you?

• God I long to be back in the Burg during the fall. Is there a more beautiful place at that time of year?

• Have you seen the Under Armor commercial where a bunch of jacked guys are walking around in skin tight outfits, form a circle and then try to decide who�s going to protect the house? What in the hell is this all about?

• It used to be that nothing got me more pumped than to watch Rocky IV, but have you seen the Reebok commercial where Ray Lewis is spotting that guy with the biggest arms ever, as he bench presses for a set of ten? I just saw it and man does that inspire me to hit the weight room after I finish my stuffed crust, meat lovers pizza.

• Is there any reason why Ohio State is still a top 5 team?

• I really don�t want to turn this into a Scribbles article but IMHO ran a kickoff back for a TD. 1 play � 1 score. We could have kept that pace I think.

• For those of us not in the state of Virginia, have you ever noticed how many Va Tech fans you see hanging around when compared to other schools not in your area? I�m in BC land and I see VT paraphernalia everywhere. It really is true � we rock.

• There is no question in my mind that football is one of mankind�s greatest creations, but let�s be honest, Rainex and Kettle Corn are not far behind.

• It has been several weeks since I had some bourbon. Some things should just never happen.

• Ever notice how some things just weren�t good ideas? You know. Like the Segway, Rocky V, and Carter Warley�s tattoo.

• The Authentic Guinness draught commercials are freakin� hilarious. Those bottle openers should come standard on everything.

• Our game against UCONN is an infomercial for very special, special teams. Where�s Ron Popeil? When it comes to Pride and Joy, "just set it and forget it."

• Is it me or are KJ�s arms getting bigger every time I see the kid?

• Have you seen the Coke commercial about how fans really do make a difference in the play of a team? At the end they have Mike Vick speaking to how big a difference we truly make � he knows �cause he�s been there. "I know," he says. "I've seen it." He�s talking about us, baby. Makes me feel proud every time.

• Can we play the wishbone offense just for fun against Rutgers? Can you imagine Randall, Vick, and KJ in the backfield at the same time? Just plain scary. Super-scary.

• So I was talking with my buddy Bog about how good we are this year and we both agreed that as soon as Tech's B-ball team gets competitive, we�ve got a good argument for an all VT channel. VT TV�s got a special ring to it.

• My Pop kept asking me all week when we were going to play a decent team. He went to Maryland. I just had to laugh.

• Did anyone else hear the generic commentator during a UCONN drive in the 4^th quarter? "To go bread and butter Dave, that�s a tough throw." Huh? Is that English?

• Ah, the prevent defense. Could anything suck more?

• During Saturday�s game I wrote down "My god we are good." When Humes ran it in for 6 in the 4^th. Thought I would share that with you.

• Came across my new favorite saying during the Tech/UCONN game. "Right in the Chiclets." Ha. At least twice a day I�m using that one.

• Have I touched on this already? The prevent defense ranks right up there with irritable bowel syndrome and any movie starring the Coreys.

• Ever notice how when a running back breaks through the line of scrimmage, he looks for open space, but when a fullback breaks through the line, he immediately looks for someone to hit? Gotta love that.

• You know I often make fun of the show but I just saw my first episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Too freakin� funny. Maybe they could pick our uniforms. Could you see KJ dancing into the end zone with his retro striped collar hanging out over his jersey? Bring on the Fab 5.

• Speaking of the Fab 5, catch Stacey Pressman�s metrosexuals article on Page 2. Guarantee you immediately think of one of your friends. Every group�s got one.

• Have you ever gone to the Outback, ordered a bloomin� onion, a ceasar salad, followed by a large Victoria�s filet saddled up next to a loaded baked potato, and wondered to yourself, when will UVa stop sucking? Yeah, me too.

• There is nothing much better than a bone-crushing, blind-sided, brain-rattling hit. You know the kind you play over and over and over again and no matter how many times you have seen it you still say "oooohhhhhhh my god" as you cringe yourself, like someone just hit you "right in the Chiclets."

• I was watching Jerry Maguire the other night and you wouldn�t think of it right off the cuff, but this sports movie has some of the most repeatable quotes of any sports movie ever made.
  "Help me, help you."
  "Show me the money!"
  "Ambassador of Quan."

• VT had its Quan working against UCONN.

• Turns out Wednesday night might force me to buy Tivo. Smallville, The Bachelor (with fat Bob), Carol Vessey � I mean Ed, The Brotherhood of Poland New Hampshire, and eventually Wednesday night Hokie football. I have real problems.

• Have you ever noticed that when you cannot figure out what you are hungry for, and you open up the fridge two or three times expecting the contents to be different each time, macaroni and cheese always works. Always. I miss that 33 cents a box, store brand from the Food Lion by Pheasant Run. I lived on that my junior year.

• Is anything more irritating than proposing a trade and the other team doesn�t answer � either way � for days. DAYS! I�m in fantasy hell.

• One more great line from Jerry Maguire: "I did NOT shoplift the pootie." Can I write that? They said it on NBC, so I figured it was cool to write. Yeah, Will? (Editor's Note: Um, I don't know. -- Will)

• How about this: "You complete me." So many - so many great lines from this sports movie. "You had me at hello," so I will say goodbye with this � Way to go Golden Bears.

Feel free to send me a few of your own Randoms. [email protected].